Saturday, June 19, 2010

the best.

Dear Daddy,

as you well know, i am an over-fulltime summer school student with no income (until july 17th when an art show will hopefully change that). Because any father's day present i would purchase for you, you would technically be purchasing for yourself, i opted against the store for your father's day gift this year.

I hope you don't mind, but i think i feel pretty safe saying you don't. of course mom got you something really cool, that i'll hold off on telling you about in case you read this before you open it...but i always like to do something specifically and especially from me (as you know- something that's usually of an artistic nature).

i've been surprising myself a lot lately, and here i am doing it again with what i'm about to say: i decided to leave my creativity (along with my non-existent wallet) out of your father's day gift this year. what i'm giving you is not a tangible work of art, but my acknowledgement of one, one that in my own wisdom, i failed to acknowledge. it's been only by the love and mercy of the Ultimate Father that i've come to the beginnings of understanding its true beauty.

what i'm trying to say is this:

Happy Father's Day, Dad. And here, in writing, is my own genuine and personal acknowledgment of the fact that i am a beautiful person.

the potential was there for awhile. and for awhile, it was the undeveloped, pallid potential i found disturbingly beautiful itself.

but just today, perfectly enough in time for this post, i noticed the uniquely beautiful coloration in my freshly-showered face. It was as if God had taken a paintbrush and water-colored the lightest purplish-rose into the creases of my eyelids, the softest dusty peach into my cheeks, and the palest pure pink into my lips.

I loved the colors and their compliments. and i loved even more that i found myself okay with them being there.

and so dad, i wanted you to know.

and i want to thank you, dad, for making treatment and follow-up treatment possible. as i told you on the phone a couple of months ago, although treatment was for me what studying abroad is for a lot of people, the freedom i've gained feels better than a study abroad across the entire world.

thank you for loving me, both healthy and sick, and thank you for your limitless patience throughout both my disorder and my recovery.

Without your support, there is no way i could be walking in the freedom, joy and health in which i walk today.

i love you dearly and always will.

Father's day love in Christ from your beautiful daughter,

Elizabeth Ann

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