1. (see definition 1 above): for most women, a size zero does not only denote the absence of magnitude and quantity of a woman's physique, but of the functionality her reproductive, integumentary and cardiovascular systems; her mental focus and clarity; her relationships; her sense of humor; her outside interests, hobbies and talents; who she is.
2. (see definitions 2 & 3 above): the number zero is the first of many numbers which were created by man to achieve some cohesive sense of order and quantity. leave it to our culture to seek redemption and self-worth in our own number system, rather than the multitude of beauty (or lack thereof for which we might serve as vessels of restoration if we weren't so distracted) our Creator meant for us to enjoy.
3. (see definition 4 above): why do we think that we will tap into an unending wealth of self-significance by fitting into a size that is called and recognized by a name denoting insignificance?
4. (see definition 5 above): for most women, fitting into a zero means hollowing out the place our hearts and minds once dwelled, creating a starvation-induced absence in which we think that we'll find ourselves. we forget what opinions, thoughts, and needs and wants feel like. when we seek neutrality in our pant size, we must accept neutrality in exchange for individuality as well.
5. (see definition 6 above): perhaps, the size we so desperately desire to claim as our own is as its definition denotes: an arbitrarily, conveniently assigned label; a puff of air we abandon all else to grasp- only to find our hands empty.
yesterday, i dug the last of the zeroes from my closet and consigned them. my laptop is currently sitting on a pair of thighs that will never touch the inside of a garment sized zero again. i'm thankful.
love,
EA
WOW!! I love this post...on many many levels, I am so very proud of you and the incredible hard work you have done to arrive at this place. You my dear are one very strong and certianly NO ZERO of a young women!
ReplyDeleteWhat if we could all think of ourselves as "spirit" in the body God made for us - instead of "our body" with spirit living in it? How might that change our perception? My spirit is love, compassion, and willingness to grow in the image of that great creative energy we call God. My body is 40 lbs. heavier than it was for the majority of my life. Whether I change my body or not doesn't change my spirit. May we all embrace that SPIRIT that needs a body to exist and live for God on this earth! Love to you on all days; the good, bad, and ugly! You are lovable, loved, and love! I am James' Aunt Julie.
ReplyDeleteWe live in Westminster, CO. You can call us anytime you want (720-255-2870). Have you been to The Refuge yet? It meets once a month near us, on Saturday evenings. I's be glad to show you where they meet/go with you. ;-)