Tuesday, November 29, 2011

onward.


i've been wanting to write this post for awhile now. i just wasn't sure how to say what i wanted to say. but i think i'm ready now. so here goes.


when i was 16 years old, a cute boy from down the street asked me out on a date. and then another date. and then another.

there was a creek that ran behind both our houses. it had an old wooden bridge over it. we got to know each other on that bridge. sitting and swinging our legs and talking and flirting. 

after a few months of sitting and leg-swinging, he walked me to the bridge one night and gave me my very first kiss.

we returned to the bridge often. even into college. whenever we were home, the bridge was where we would go to be together.

the cute boy from down the street is now a very handsome man. 

last night, he took me out on a date. 

afterwards, he walked me to a small stream with a bridge that crossed it and he asked me to marry him.

{i said yes.}

this stream and the bridge are across the country from the creek and the bridge where our relationship bloomed. they are new and they are different, but they are savoringly reminiscent of what led us to them. they are a unifying symbol that celebrates where we've been and where we are and where we're going. 

i will always be who i am because of where i've been. the struggle and the hurt, the victory and the joy, the eating disorder and God's hand carrying me away from it are undeniable parts of my make-up; seeds that will bloom and grow in a million different ways, time and again before i die.

but just like the old bridge gave way to the new, i think this journey of healing is ready to yield itself to new chapters. my recovery will be just as influential and present as always. my life is forever shaped by this journey, as my life could only happen once this journey took place.

but it's time to discover another new bridge. it's time to close the chapter this blog represents and step onward into all that God has.

so today, i am saying goodbye to the blog. i'm thanking God for holding my heart through the mourning and for keeping His promise of joy from tears. 

today, i am stepping into the beginnings of a new morning. a morning that starts a journey alongside the love of my life. a morning that might never have happened without the mourning that freed me to become one with another.


"...weeping may last for the night but joy comes in the morning." psalm 30:5


infinite thanks to you for reading. 

much, much love, 

ea


....and for all who've asked, here is the ring. i could never love anything more :)













2 comments:

  1. had a rough couple of days and especially last night. eating was out of control and I was having a self loathing pity party all day today. then I came across your post and I smiled for the first time today. Thanks for that. congratulations.

    http://greetreception.blogspot.com/

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  2. Congrats and best wishes to you both. I had been wondering where your blog had gone. I was cleaning up my blog roles and saw this post.

    I am very thrilled for you that you are moving on... however... very ***not*** thrilled that you are no longer writing. Or perhaps you are? You are a very gifted writer (and I use this compliment very sparingly). I had not been initially interested in your content (in regards to your eating) as I have never experienced this problem. But, I found my self drawn in many times... crying many times... at your beautiful word pictures. This post was very sweet, and I love the mental pictures of the bridge. (There *** must*** be a bridge at the wedding!) Please let me know when you start your new blog! You are too good of a writer to not blog. Much love to you... and give my greetings to that awesome boy (whom we miss greatly!)

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