Tuesday, January 18, 2011

i almost put up a before/after picture

...but i had an uneasy feeling about doing that.

i want you to know though, that today, for the first ever, i believe with the fullness of my heart that without my disorder, i am not only a far better person on the inside...

...but a far better person

on the *outside*

as well.

and i want you to see for yourself:

in december of 2009, my body was at the lowest weight it would ever reach during my four years of college.

about one year ago today, i was in my third week at Magnolia Creek. i had yet to gain more than about a pound. according to my nutritionist, everything i ate was going to repair my internal organs. this continued for another couple of weeks until the weight finally began to stick.

towards the middle of April of 2010, i reached my goal weight.
i hated it.

in november of 2010, {weighing roughly 20 pounds more than i did in november of 2009[dont get used to me using numbers. this was merely an exception to my no-number rule]} this photo was taken at Chi Omega Formal:

fellow strugglers: today is January 18, 2011. It has been more than a year since i made the decision to go into recovery from my eating disorder.

I have fought through hatred of my body, knowing that maintaining a healthy weight was the only way to sustain the livelihood that i have discovered in taking care of my self.

this morning, as i was drinking coffee and looking at old pictures, i found myself suddenly able to see that the picture above is a much better look for me than pre-recovery pictures.{note: it took 10 months of existing at a healthy weight for me to come to this realization}

take heart- whatever your struggle- and know that for the time being, what is right and true may only have mourning to offer you.

persevere {through the pain and the anguish and the sorrow} and one morning you will rise to find joy and truth and life.

it keeps happening over and over.




  1. ...and you look stunning, EA. simply stunning.

  2. Thanks, EA. Much needed words of encouragement today.

  3. You amaze me and you should be so proud of yourself xxxxx

  4. very inspiring, thank you for posting this :)